{Live} You Know You’re A Mom When . . .

March 16, 2011 in All Posts, Laugh

You know you’re a mom when:

  • You can pick up your 30 pound 9-month old from his crib and nonchalantly let him vomit the entire contents of his high capacity stomach onto your face, into your hair and all over your shirt;
  • You stand there quietly while he pukes out nine ounces of formula, five ounces of babyfood, three strawberries, a few blueberries, three honey tangerine slices and three ounces of apple juice without batting an eyelash;
  • You don’t even blink when some of the chunks slide down your chest and into your bra;
  • You have mastered the art of walking to the bathroom without spilling a drop of the mess on the carpet;
  • You don’t miss a beat after hosing the two of you down, and run out dripping and naked to the refrigerator to fill a bottle of apple juice for your screaming toddler, who is ready to bolt out of her 3-day old toddler bed any second now because you’re taking too long;
  • You skillfully maneuver your toddler back into her bed (in the dark) (still dripping and naked) (oh, and still holding your baby – also dripping and naked) and say “Night night“;
  • You deftly shove your baby into a onesie, footie pajamas, a sleepsack and a sweatshirt while simultaneously toweling off and shimmying into some pajamas;
  • You get the baby down in one fell shove of the bottle (this time only half-full);
  • And at the end of it all, you laugh (instead of cry), thinking about how much you love your two little munchkins.

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Chrissy – who has written posts on The Outlaw Mom® Blog – Creative Living in a Conventional World.


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