{Live} Top Ten Worst Smells On A Baby
August 8, 2011 in All Posts, Laugh
Aaaahh…the smell of babies….
Nothing smells better than soft baby skin, a baby’s warm head or a newborn baby’s breath.
The natural scent of my own babies makes me drool and the first whiff of their baby fragrance when I arrive home from work makes me swoon with love, longing and heartache all at the same time.
Jane, now 2, has stopped smelling like a baby and has taken on that wet dog funk that all kids have after playing outside, unless she’s straight out of the bath.
Sam, just 1, oh . . . the smell of him . . . I could eat baby cheeks for weeks.
While nothing is sweeter than that inexplicably fresh scent of a baby, there are a few smells on a child that so horrifically assault my olfactory senses to trigger an instant gag reflex.
From the least offensive to the worst, here’s what makes my stomach churn when I smell it on a baby, especially one of my own:
10) garlic
9) onions
8)fish sauce
7) fish
5) wine
4) beer
3) perfume
2) scented detergent
1) another woman’s perfume
Smelling another woman’s perfume on one of my children has to be the most offensive scent of them all by a landslide. Not only has another person marked one of mine as her own, but now my child smells like “a baby prostitute” (as Lizzy Caplan’s Janis Ian describes Lindsay Lohan’s Cady Heron in Mean Girls). Too vile for words.
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Chrissy – who has written 422 posts on The Outlaw Mom® Blog - Creative Living in a Conventional World.
