{Live} My Little Parrot: Censoring Children’s Playlists (Part Two)
July 11, 2012 in All Posts, Parenting
Remember when Jane belted out “I really f@$ed it up this time!”over and over as she ever so accurately sang the lyrics to Mumford & Son’s Little Lion Man at the ripe old age of 2.5?
Yesterday, Jane (3.5) and I were listening to the uncensored version of Maroon 5’s Payphone (don’t judge - well, if you have to go ahead, I’ve already judged myself). I turned to Hubby, after realizing that the version I downloaded used the F and S words instead of the clean replacements we were used to hearing in the car,
“Oh, I guess I should get the censored version - he says ‘$h!t'”
Jane immediately sprang up and yelled,
“HEY!! I like $h!t!”
What could I say, except, “Yes, I like the song, too. But you probably don’t like $h!t, you like the song.”
Hubby piped in, “$h!t is a bad word.”
For a moment, Jane’s eyes gleamed, “Really?”
I saw what was happening, so I stamped out the burgeoning twinkle before it could blossom into anything more mischievous.
“No, $h!t is not a bad word. Bad words are words like ‘can’t’ and ‘hate,’ remember?”
“Yeah, those are bad words,” Jane knowingly nodded.
* * *
So, what will I do about censoring the kids’ playlists? Jury is still out. I probably won’t be playing the explicit version on purpose, but I won’t be holding my hands over their ears either. I’d much rather them listen to swear words than other content that isn’t age appropriate. And I probably won’t be banning swear words once they actually find out what they are from their friends as they get older just because they’re so-called bad words. (Not that I won’t disapprove for other reasons).
Alright, let’s hear it my friends: what are you doing in terms of censorship? Do you play clean or original versions? Or forego grown up music altogether?
Read more about why I’m leaning towards no ban on profanity in my children’s playlists here:
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Chrissy – who has written 426 posts on The Outlaw Mom® Blog - Creative Living in a Conventional World.
I am not really one to promote censorship on principle. I have always felt that bleeping out a handful of words was, in most cases, the equivalent of putting a bandaid on an amputated arm. I tend to be more concerned about the adult themes of songs (sex, violence, etc.) more so than a particular word in them. Most kids are exposed to those words through conversations anyway.
I definitely lean towards yours perspective as well, Lisa. The other day a Ke$ha song came on and I realized that no matter how fun the beat was and that my daughter was bopping her head around enjoying the tune, the themes were just not okay for a 3.5 year old. There will come a day she’ll understand those types of lyrics, but it’s just not time now.
Well, I don’t play a lot of adult music around the kids so they miss that stuff. I have to work more on censoring myself.
My taste in music runs to songs with “bad words” in but so far (touching wood) J hasn’t picked up on them. We tend to mostly have children’s music on in the house and my music on in the car - but as I don’t have one of those new fangled devices that lets me download music it’s mostly CD’s and the radio so we don’t have the problem. I have friends that use the words a lot but J hasn’t picked up on them either. I think it’s the reaction that causes the continued use and the awareness of it being a “bad word”. I imagine that once J is in nursery next year he will come in contact with it more and more…
I definitely agree with you, Cerys, on the reaction making it more attractive. It’s so hard these days to find songs that don’t have swear words in them or that contain age-appropriate lyrics … I sort of wish we went back to the days of our parents’ music, where the music was great and the lyrics were so much softer and easy on everyone’s ears, no matter their threshold for inappropriateness. I haven’t found a great kids’ music cd yet, so we continue to listen to the grown up stuff. A fun alternative that we can all listen to is Americana or Bluegrass. The lyrics are generally okay and the kids love anything with a fast banjo!
I am with you in all you’ve said and I am wondering what your stance is regarding profanity use beyond song choices…I ask because I tend to use the so-called “bad words” a lot and it’s part of my humurous personality and of how I am know to be and loved…my parents and husband say that I need to censor myself in front of the kids (1 and 3) but I am not sure what I think about this…I tend not to refrain myself and so far I am actually very surprised that my 3 year old (who has a ridiculously extensive vocabulary) has not copied me at all…yet he has somehow managed to recognized the “bad words” because the other day my father (who is just like me) said something in front of him and he started laughing over what grandpa had said…so he know them yet has on his own chosen not to use them so far (I don’t remember ever telling him not to repeat a certain word)…so I would like to hear your thoughts/suggestions…thanks in advance for your advice!
Hi Myra! I so hear you on the hardship of modifying our own behavior so we’re better role models for our kids
I wrote a post on why it feels like I’m dating my daughter on a similar topic. Personally, I am not “against” profanity anywhere. It’s just another form of language. But in terms of teaching my kids, I think not making a big deal is better than banning it. Both of mine already know what a “bad” word is and giggle incessantly at things like “butt” (which I try to correct to “bottom”). So my approach for profanity in their everyday talk probably won’t be “it’s a bad word,” and ban it, but more along the lines of letting them know it makes them look like they have bad manners, it’s inappropriate for school, and that people will respect them less if they choose to swear. I’ll probably tackle it more as an image and presentation issue, rather than that the words themselves are bad. So in casual situations with friends, for example, if they choose to swear, that’s their choice, but in other situations, it wouldn’t be the best choice. (On a personal note, I was a rebellious teenager, so I know that banning something just makes it that much more attractive and I don’t want to encourage that in my own kids!)
thank you so much for your response! I read your other blog (the one about dating your daughter) and loved it too…I will be trying your approach and let you know if it works! thanks again!
Let me know how it goes, Myra! I’ll have to do a follow up post soon … the kids are growing so fast, so everything I think is a good idea needs to be adapted all over again!
I know…I have recently having trouble hearing my 19-year-old stepdaughter talk like I do…it somehow sounds really off..and I want to reprimand her for doing it in front of the children, but then again I do the same thing..So I am being very cautious now and censoring myself because I do know that what I teach by example is much more important than whatever I can tell them…I’ll keep you posted!
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