{Live} Ten Things I Will Teach My Daughter
July 18, 2012 in All Posts, Parenting
Today, when I was driving in to work, I caught the end of NPR’s Forum program on Marissa Mayer and The Work-Life Debate. It dovetailed nicely with my recent thoughts on going back to work versus my brief stint as a stay-at-home mom and my new curiosity in this thing called feminism - which I’ll admit I never gave a thought to before I started blogging.
When I got into work, after reading a blog post directed towards me that sounded straight out of a silly high school episode of Mean Girls, I realized that what I say and do as a role model will greatly impact how my daughter carries herself in the great big world, as well as how she is perceived and treated. And it will determine whether she grows up to be a “woman,” with all the negative stereotypical trappings and obstacles, or her own person.
Which brings me back to this idea of feminism. I still am not sure exactly what it means, as I’ve seen many a self-proclaimed feminist trampling on her own kind or harming herself in a way that opposes everything she stands for. Regardless, today’s experience has strengthened my conviction not to raise a daughter who conducts herself according to her socially-prescribed gender role.
She will know how important it is to:
- Know who you are and what you stand for. And never waver.
- Be heard. If they don’t hear you the first time, tell them again.
- Live authentically. Honesty and integrity are uncomfortable, but fundamental to life.
- Respect yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.
- Know that no one owns you. Cherish your freedom and don’t give any piece of you away.
- Be confident in your talent, wisdom, and abilities. You are strong.
- Be kind to yourself. You control your happiness, but you have the power to destroy it, too.
- Know that you are the only person who will always look out for you. You know what’s best; trust your instincts.
- Know that knowledge is power. Wealth and beauty can disappear, but knowledge is a tool with you forever.
- Take the high road. Even if no one follows you.
If she knows these things, at least she will have the tools to become a kind, strong, capable human being – whether she’s in Girl World or the Animal World (the only two choices we get from Lindsey Lohan’s character, Cady Heron, in the movie Mean Girls) - and hopefully, in the Real World.
*Luckily these things are all equally applicable to my son, so I don’t have to reinvent the wheel for him.
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Chrissy – who has written 426 posts on The Outlaw Mom® Blog - Creative Living in a Conventional World.
[…] Ten Things I Will Teach My Daughter […]
Nice list, going to copy it. I have two daughters one is 23 and one is 4 this is exactly the stuff I want both of them to know.
Thanks - I’m glad you liked it
It’s always hard to pen your thoughts on something like this, but I’m glad I did since it will serve as a good reminder when I lose track of the important things.
Chrissy, I’m so proud of you. I’m so glad you don’t sweat small stuff. Love your blog.
Awwww, thanks
Means a lot.
[…] {Live} Ten Things I Will Teach My Daughter […]
Great post. I would add… be kind to others, even if they are unkind (or positively cruel) to you. But, just because you are kind to them, doesn’t mean that you need to associate with them or surround yourself with anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. That was something that was really hard for me growing up.
I am impressed with how you handled the situation yesterday. It was disappointing how mean that other blogger and many of her readers acted. I am so glad that she apologized.
Love your blog! Keep up the great posts!
I definitely agree with you about being kind to others - I was going to include that in my list, but alas, 11 things just didn’t sound as catchy - ha ha. I think being kind to others definitely comes more easily when you know what it is to be kind to yourself and understand what integrity means for you. You make an interesting point (that I can relate to) about not needing to associate with negative people just because you are kind to them…I think that’s definitely an issue that girls, in particular, deal with.
Thanks for your support - I appreciate it! Especially from bloggers like you
Great post, exactly what I want to teach my girls too.
It’ll be hard to model perfectly, I’m sure, but a good goal! Thanks for stopping by, Rebecca
Spot on! Very inspiring list. I do agree with Anon - you have handled it with class, and are embodying exactly what I believe a woman of character (feminist or not) should be as a role model for girls growing up in the Girl World.
Well, those are some very positive words! Thank you
beautiful list, chrissy.
Thanks, Jen
ESP….man, I planned to hit this subject this week! I think nouveau feminism linky might be in order! haha! Is that a paradox?
Oooh, that sounds kinda sexy: nouveau feminism. Maybe even “nouvelle” - ha ha. I likey.
You handled that in a really classy way. She was way out of line.
Thanks for your support. We are all human and do the best we can, I suppose. Here’s to trying to be the best we can be and helping our children do the same!